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Having your back door be a part of sexual play does not mean you need to have anal sex, says gigi engle, sexpert for womanizer. Learn how to enjoy anal sex (and have safe, satisfying butt play) with these tips from someone whos been there (and likes it). Despite what you might see or hear in pop culture, anal sex isnt really a sex act that can just happen without lots o lube and prep work beforehand. It isnt just about the delightful slip and slide, but also an important part of anal sex safety. Even for those of us who have a generally open-minded, been-there-done-that attitude about sex, the thought of anal sex can still seem a little scary if youve gone there. The anal sex best position for people who are new is one that allows you to be in complete and total control, explains evan goldstein, m. , ceo and founder of bespoke surgical, which specializes in helping men and women engage in anal play. Thats why i say on-top is a preferred way to startit allows you to control the angle of your pelvis and overall depth of insertion.